Killed myself

I had to kill myself to live again.
I feel this sense of calm and peace that used to live within.

I’m from a small town where everyone travels the same old fucked up road. I’ve always been the black sheep.

I never fit in and didn’t care to.  This whole cliche’ life and I was always trying to prove myself to my mother who is toxic.

I would never bash or slander my mom, she is the strongest, funniest, person I know. Her mothering skills were just to protect not nurture.

Crying? No. Hugging? No. Expressing? No. She has this wicked mind of survival. It made me tough, but so tough that I don’t know anything else. I couldn’t stand who I was.

that’s why I killed myself.

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